What will tomorrow bring?

December 12, 2010

Tomorrow is my 37 week appointment. My doctor told me if my blood pressure is high, she’ll induce me. I’m desiring that so much!!! I’m tired of bed rest…I’m tired of blood pressure medicine…I’m tired of taking my blood pressure and monitoring it every few hours…

I’m feeling a bit of pressure, though. Do I manipulate my blood pressure to make it high? I’ve contemplated different things I could do…drink a cup of coffee…mop my floors…clean my bathrooms…walk around Target… After this morning, I’m not sure I’ll have to do anything other than wake up, take a shower, and get dressed. That’s what I did today and my blood pressure was high.

Matt, my mom, and I all feel like we’re just sitting around waiting for something to happen. Let’s get this show on the road!! We’re so ready to meet our baby boy, hold him, kiss him, watch our girls be big sisters… I also have to remind myself of all the “stuff” that goes with having a baby…nursing, no sleep, changing diapers (which we haven’t had to do since February!), getting up in the night…did I mention the fact that I’ll be sleep deprived!?!

The beauty of the whole situation is that God is in control…of everything. Even if I get up tomorrow, drink a pot of coffee, clean my whole house, and run a marathon…God could choose for my blood pressure to remain “normal” and for me to not be induced. What a miracle that would be if I had done all those things!!! 🙂

Today could possibly be my last day before meeting my son. I’m going to revel in it. I’m going to enjoy our family of four, finishing knitting a hat for our baby boy, go get a manicure and pedicure, and rest.

If God chooses for tomorrow to be the day, I’m ready! If not, then I have to be content knowing He is in control and has already chosen our son’s birth day.

I can’t wait!!!

I thought 5-6 weeks of bed rest would provide me ample opportunities to blog and keep everyone up-to-date on the happenings around the Flener home. Well, after 2 days for just sitting on the couch, feeling totally helpless, and needing to be productive…I decided to craft. It’s been fuel to my soul. I love to do crafty things and it helps me feel productive in my new world of inactivity. It’s hard to go from super busy and active to the inability to do anything except go to the bathroom and sit on the couch. BORING! Sure, it sounds glamorous at first. But soon becomes the worst thing on earth. However, if it means this baby boy will be strong and healthy…sign me up!

Some of the things that have been the hardest on me (besides the inactivity) is letting my mind wander to negative thoughts. I’ve gone weeks without seeing my friends, going to church, and exercise. The lack of all of these things is super depressing. As much as I can, I try to get out to our favorite local coffee shop, prop up my legs, and dive into my Bible to fill my mind with Truth.

Yesterday I was reading in Ecclesiastes 4:4,6 – Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work come from a man’s envy of his neighbor. This also is vanity and a striving after wind…Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind.

God spoke right to my heart. I need to be content. Being quiet is a sweet, precious gift and I need to utilize this time to grow closer to Him instead of being concerned with what I’m not able to do. I tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive.

We’ve been so blessed with a fabulous church family here in Denver. Words can’t even express how much their service and sacrifice have meant to our family. They stepped in immediately and helped, which is priceless especially when you don’t have family in town. They’ve watched our kids, cleaned my house, brought us meals every night…the body of Christ at work. It leaves me speechless and thankful that God provides for our needs no matter the circumstances.

Our families have been fantastic too. November 8th I was hospitalized for a few hours because my blood pressure was too high. My mom hopped on a plane 2 days later (because Matt was off for those 2 days to help) and came to stay with us for 10 days. She’s quite a work horse…cleaned our house, did the laundry, took care of the girls, made dinner, and kept me company. 🙂 She’s getting ready to come tomorrow night and will stay until this baby boy decides to make his appearance.

My dad, brother, sister-in-law, and Matt’s whole family also took turns coming out to help. They all served us sacrificially while they were here. It’s humbling and difficult for me to sit back and watch other people take care of everything.

As of this past Monday, the doctor wants me to use my blood pressure meds to get me through the next 2 weeks. I’ll then be 37 weeks. I think she’ll take me off bed rest at that point and wait for my bp to go up and then induce. I joke with her that if she put me on bed rest for 6 weeks and then I go full-term, I’m going to be so upset with her!! haha

It’s all worth it for a healthy baby boy!!! We’re getting so anxious to meet him!!!