Mommy guilt

August 20, 2014

Yep, mommy guilt.

You know that feeling after you sat your sweet babe in front of the TV for hours so you can scrub toilets?!?

Yep, that.

Well, today, for me…it was grocery shopping. With a 3-year-old boy.

We drove across town. Sprouts. Costco. Back across town. Unloaded. Then off to get the sisters from school.

Poor Chase.

It’s such a struggle! I try to bring my kids along for the adventures in grocery shopping and scrubbing toilets, but the guilt remains.

Why? These are all things that have to get done at some point in my day.

Maybe it’s because of our Pinterest-centered culture that makes me feel bad for not doing a craft with my kids every day and making their birthday parties look like something out of HGTV magazine.

Thank God for grace…not my daughter, Grace (although she’s fantastic too!!), but God’s unmerited favor that He gives me daily…hourly…every minute. Because I desperately need it.

So, while I let God’s grace cover my mommy guilt…Chase pretended a cantaloupe was his baby while we shopped in Sprouts, tasted every sample in Costco, and, when Daddy got home from work he shouted, “Daddy! I got pizza at Costco!!!”

Emotional mommy

August 13, 2014

This morning was a blur…

The kids all got up before their alarms, so anxious and ready for their first day of school. Getting out the door was not stressful because I had packed and planned the night before. All was well on the home front.

A friend and I planned a “coffee and cry” for the Kindergarten parents, so I was focused on all that I needed to do to make that happen…

Get out the door, pick up the coffee, get it to school, lug 5 gallons of coffee across the parking lot, set it up, mingle with kindergarten parents, and tear it all down.

I lost sight of the fact that I was also dropping my girls off for their first day of school.

Tear. Which became another tear. And another. And another. I was a mess.

Fortunately, I had plans to meet a few friends at Chic-fil-a, so I was distracted from the void I was feeling with the girls gone.

We picked the girls up this afternoon at the end of the day and they were beaming!! Fantastic day! Making new friends, learning new things and loving every minute.

Makes it worth the mommy heartache 🙂

Back to school again

August 11, 2014

Around this time every year I love the anticipation of a new school year. A fresh start. A new beginning. A chance to start over.

While this is all well and good, it still means sending my babies off to be exposed to things I cannot protect them from and be vulnerable to the insincere 1st and 3rd graders of our American suburb. (The majority are sweet, but you know what I mean!!) 😉

As much as I wish I could protect them from all the evil and wickedness of this world, I cannot. I must let go and trust God with His children that he entrusted Matt and I to raise.

Instead of worrying, I must pray. Instead of being anxious, I must trust.

Even though it’s hard for me to understand this fact…God loves Grave and Alyssa immeasurably more than I do.

Say what?!? Impossible. But true.

He is there when I am not…to protect, to guard, to shield, to love, to guide and to teach. He is there because they are His creation and His children and He loves them more than I can comprehend.

With that, I recognize my lack of control…and fall to my knees to pray.

That is the best thing I can do for my kids. And I will fight this fight with them!!